Beautiful Nightmare
by obliviatethesilence
Summary: Severus Snape wakes up to find that everything he once knew to be true has changed. He is in a world unlike one he ever imagined and he sets out to find the truth behind what is real and what isn't.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I have four chapters of this story written in my rough draft, but I'm sure it will end up being longer. This story is very much from my own imagination and I don't expect everyone to agree with it. It has a lot to do with embellishing on what Jo Rowling laid the foundation for in the fifth book. I don't want to give too much away, but I hope you enjoy it. The prologue is just to give you a small taste of the story, but the plot doesn't actually start until the first chapter.**

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><p>His eyes closed with his voice caught in his throat. His time was up in this world. He was done. The last thing he had seen were her eyes; Lily's eyes, shining at him sans hatred from an irrelevant face. And now he was falling, or perhaps he was floating. He was suspended in air in a place that was neither here nor there.<p>

His eyes were still closed, and he could clearly feel death, more real and painless than he had ever imagined. His fear dissipated as a warm air rushed over him, blowing his hair around his face in a way that an ocean breeze may have done. However, he wouldn't really know because he had never gone to the beach.

He felt lightheaded, but not in an unpleasant way. It were as though he'd taken the most powerful of all Draughts of Peace and was now resting on a cloud, moving in a way that made him feel no fear for his destination. He was breathing, although he knew that if he stopped, he would still survive. Air meant nothing to him anymore. But the air here was sweet in a way he'd never known, and so he breathed, filling his lungs to full capacity with each breath, tasting wonders he'd never dreamed of.

The second he opened his eyes it would all end. He had convinced himself of that in order to give him all the more reason to keep them closed. Fear of the unknown would not plague him here. There were no noises, and the silence was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.

Lily was here. He could feel her near to him and longed to reach out and touch her, but found that he had no control of his own limbs. He was a log moving through time and space, simply able to breathe, feel, and be. He could smell her perfume now, clinging to his nostrils the way it had every time he had brewed Amortentia in class.

He was still moving, although the direction in which he moved was unclear. He was not worried. His destination was pre-planned and he had no intentions of getting there early. His job was done. His task was done. He could rest.

Against all better judgment, he opened his eyes, squinting into the bright light that was surrounding him. He wasn't moving in a direction at all, but was moving all the same. It was a curious sensation. All around, the light moved with him, enhancing the journey, moving and gliding seamlessly, supported by nothingness until he suddenly stopped.

He felt his eyes growing heavy once more, and although he was curious as to what would happen next, he felt himself growing weary. His eyelids fluttered shut, sealing off his view of the soft lighting around him. His breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed even more until he felt himself drifting off to sleep. If this was death, then he would gladly accept his fate.

As he faded into nothing, he heard a voice calling to him from all sides. It vibrated around him in silent but growing waves, sinking into him like an anchor, pulling him all the closer to his destination. It called to him in a voice that was distant and familiar, speaking only his name in its calm and even tone. "Severus." He was home.

"Severus."

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><p><strong>AN: Let me know what your thoughts are so far! Like I said, the story will truly get started with the first chapter. **


	2. Dreaming Ain't Easy

**A/N: This continues right where the prologue left off. It might seem like there's a lot of information in his chapter, but this entire story in general is very information-heavy.**

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><p>"Severus. Sev, wake up."<br>There was a several minute pause.  
>"Severus, wake up. I made eggs and toast."<br>Several more minutes.  
>"Severus Snape, get out of that bed. I know you were out late last night, but that is no excuse. You're going to be late."<br>There was someone shaking him softly.

No. It was impossible. She couldn't possibly be touching him or speaking to him because she was dead. She had been dead for nearly seventeen years. Dead people didn't talk and they surely couldn't touch you. Unless you counted ghosts, but Severus was choosing not to count the feeling of being doused in icy water when the hand touching him now was soft and warm.

When Severus could no longer continue to believe that he was dreaming of her voice, his eyes fluttered open and he raised himself up onto his elbows. Lily was standing next to him, looking remarkably solid, her hands perched on her hips in an annoyed sort of way. She was wearing a white apron over a flowery patterned dress, her hair in a bun at the back of her head although several small wisps were falling out around her face. If she was a ghost, she would surely be transparent, so naturally she was a figment of his imagination. If he was inside his own imagination, he could do whatever he pleased without fearing consequences. He reached out and instinctively grabbed her hand. If she was real, she might slap him, but if she wasn't, then there was really no harm in touching her.

"Don't you dare try to butter me up," Lily snapped, though there was a smile on her face. She pulled her hand back and bent down to kiss him on the forehead, the shock from her touch sending goose bumps flying up and down his entire body.

"Now get up," she repeated sternly, patting his pillow for emphasis. She walked over to the door and turned around to add, "I mean it," in a serious tone. She disappeared through the doorway, leaving Severus sitting in bed feeling awkward and out of place.

He took a deep breath. For some reason he had no idea where he was, nor why Lily Evans -Potter… _Snape_?—had been standing over him as though she didn't hate him; as if she wasn't dead. _Was_ she dead? Had it all been a dream? It seemed cliché that something as awful as what had transpired in his head should have been all just that; in his head. Lily had married that arrogant fool Potter and they'd had a son and then they'd died and it had been his fault. He remembered that much. He'd gone to work for the Dark Lord in there somewhere, too.

Curiously, Severus pulled his left arm out from under the blankets, surprised to be wearing a short-sleeved shirt enabling him to examine its smooth, pale, Dark Mark free surface with extreme interest. He didn't even recall owning anything short-sleeved, let alone a plain white t-shirt. And where was his Mark? Hadn't he just died? Shouldn't he be in heaven, hell, beyond the veil—wherever it was that people went when they died? Maybe this _was _heaven. He was dead and now he was free to be with Lily as he'd always wanted. But then where was Potter? Nothing was adding up, and he could feel his confusion bubbling up inside him like freshly brewed polyjuice.

Or maybe none of it had happened. Maybe it really had been a vivid dream. Maybe all of his actual memories would come floating back at any moment. Perhaps it was best to play along with what Lily wanted and wait for them to do so. Best not to make himself appear foolish on top of everything else.

He slid out of bed, instinctively making his way to the small closet in the corner to pull on what he hoped very much was his own white bathrobe. In stocking feet he glided down the stairs, feeling awkward and lanky, much as he had in his years at Hogwarts. He felt none of the commanding presence that he'd been able to put off while teaching at the school. He felt lost and dazed as though he had just been spinning for a very great while and was now expected to walk in a completely straight line.

He noticed almost immediately that he seemed to be in the house he'd grown up in, the little cottage in Spinner's End, although it had been cleaned up, painted with happier colors, and hung with pictures of people he had never seen.

Naturally he recognized himself as well as Lily, but there were pictures of children along the walls as well. Four of them by the looks of it; three with red hair, and one with black. The little girl with red hair seemed to be the smallest of the four, looking remarkably like a young Lily. There were two red-haired boys, one far paler than the other, but both with his dark eyes. The other little girl had his jet black hair, and she seemed to be his opposite in every other way. She was at the center of every picture she could manage, posing with goofy faces, covered with dirt streaks, and clearly curious. Severus marveled at these pictures as he went down the stairs. They were pictures he couldn't remember taking. These were his children. These were Lily's children. Surely he was dreaming now, or even better, perhaps this really _was_ heaven.

Lily caught him at the base of the stairs. "Severus, what are you up to? You see those pictures every day. Come, eat," she urged, leading him into the kitchen and dining room area, which he noticed had been painted a cheerful yellow. A vase of daises had been placed on the table. A clock on the wall told him that it was eight o'clock in the morning.

"You're going to be late for work if you don't hurry," Lily commented, pushing a plate of eggs and toast in front of him. "Those Defense Against the Dark Arts classes aren't going to teach themselves." He sat down in his chair cautiously. If Lily had been paying him any attention at that moment, she might have thought he was trying not to break the chair, but in reality, he was just in disbelief that everything around him was real.

There was the sound of little feet coming down the stairs behind them, and Lily turned to give her daughter a kiss on the head. "Good morning, darling! Why don't you sit at the table with your father and I'll get you some breakfast."

The little red-haired girl, who was around age seven or eight, sat down in the chair across from Severus, giving him a big smile. He tried his best to return it, but he was still in shock. "Blythe, say good morning to your father," Lily said as she pulled together a plate for her smallest child.

"Good morning, Daddy," said Blythe in a small voice.

"Here you are sweetheart," Lily said, putting a small amount of food in front of the girl.

Severus cleared his throat uncomfortably. He had yet to say anything and he was quite unsure if his voice would even work properly. He was relieved when it did. "Lily, can I talk to you in the hall for a moment?" Severus asked in a voice that wasn't his own, taking his chance while he could, instead of sitting any longer staring transfixed at his apparent daughter before him. He couldn't pretend anymore.

Lily followed him curiously into the hallway. "What's wrong, Sev? Are you feeling okay?" She touched the back of her hand to his forehead, her eyes full of concern.

"I'm fine," he snapped, more harshly than he intended. He softened his voice and quickly repeated, "I'm fine," in a reassuring sort of way. "It's just that—Lily, when I went to bed last night, you were dead." He said it bluntly, not quite sure if there was any easy way to say all that he needed to. How do you tell a woman you've pined after for almost your entire life that she's been dead for almost half of it without sounding crazy? "Your son was—"

"_Our _son," Lily corrected calmly as though it was a correction she often had to make.

"No, _your_ son," Severus urged, "was in grave danger. Harry _Potter_ was in grave danger. The Dark Lord had returned and was determined to kill him. I died for him in order that his life may go toward defeating the Dark Lord at last. I've spent the last seven years working to keep him alive, Lily. And now I'm here and I haven't the slightest idea what's going on. Suddenly _you're_ alive. You're _here_. _I'm_ here. There are children whose names I do not know. I-"

Lily stopped him, but she wasn't looking at him like she should have been. If someone else had been saying these things to him, he would have considered them crazy. Lily was simply looking at him as though it was almost an every-day occurrence. Perhaps he had hit his head and had a memory issue that she was constantly having to struggle with. "Severus, whatever dream you had last night must have really stuck with you. Sometimes dreams have that power. Professor Dumbledore told me that once when I was in school."

She grabbed his hand and led him to the base of the stairs, pointing at what seemed to be the most recent family portrait. "These are our children, Sev. I married you, not James Potter. I never even considered marrying James Potter. You are my best friend, and you always have been." She lifted his hand to rest on what seemed to be the oldest child, a boy with curly red hair, dark eyes, and a light dashing of freckles across his nose. "This is Rian Severus Snape," she said calmly. "He is fifteen years old and in Slytherin house. He was made Prefect this year and is top of his class." Her voice was swelled with pride. She pointed to the next boy. His hair was almost the same shade of dark red, but shorter in style. His face lacked the freckles of his older brother. "This is Dunstan Tobias Snape. He is a third year and in Gryffindor house. This year he was made a Chaser on the house team." She shifted his hand yet again to point at the dark haired girl who looked so remarkably like him. There was no denying that this little girl was his despite Lily's bright green eyes. "Leila Eileen Snape. She is also a Gryffindor. She's a first year who I'm sure we're going to have many letters sent home about. She has a knack for getting into places she shouldn't. You've compared her to Potter, but I think she reminds me of you in ways that no one else could." She shifted his hand to rest upon the last smiling face in the picture. "Finally, this is Blythe Lily Snape, whom you've already had the pleasure of seeing this morning. For some reason, I have a feeling she's going to be the true black sheep of the family and be placed in Ravenclaw, but you never can tell. She'll be turning eight years old in two weeks time, and her very favorite thing to do is read all of the books in your study so she can be just like her father. You spoil her."

She lowered his hand, looking him dead in the eyes. Oh, how he'd missed seeing her eyes attached to her own smiling face. "And you are Severus Snape. You are married to the lovely Lily Snape and have four beautiful children. You teach at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in a position that you love. You live here in your childhood home where you've lived ever since our wedding seventeen years ago. You only see James Potter or Sirius Black when you are forced to go into the Ministry for some business or another, and other than that, you steer clear of each other. You-Know-Who was killed some years ago by a combination of all of our efforts with the Order of the Phoenix. He was killed once and for all by Albus Dumbledore himself." Lily paused to make sure all of this was sinking in. "I have never once regretted any piece of my life with you, Severus, and no amount of crazy dreams that you may have will ever make me do so. Now, grab a piece of toast, go put on your school robes, and get out of here before you're late for work."

She leaned up to kiss him gently, causing his entire face to turn red. Despite the fact that pictures of their children were littering the whole house, in his mind, Severus had never kissed Lily, something he'd been dreaming of since he was ten years old. He placed his hands on either side of her face, hesitantly and delicately as though she might break. When she pulled away, she rolled her eyes at his stunned expression and gave him a small push up the stairs, smiling from where she stood. Not wanting this happy vision to end, he clung to her hand all the tighter. "Lily, is this real?" He knew that the answer wouldn't make him feel differently, but he wasn't to hear her say it anyway.

"Who says it isn't?" she offered, releasing his hand and disappearing once more into the kitchen.

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><p><strong>AN: Let me know what you think! If you have any ideas of where this is going or anything you're curious about, I would love to hear from you!**

**If you would like to see how I envision the characters, you can find a link to some pictures on my profile. Let me know if you agree with how they look!**


	3. Confrontation and Condemnation

"Sev, you _really_ don't remember anything, do you?" Lily asked softly, kissing his temple and sweeping his hair out of his face. He could not believe that Lily Evans was lying under the same blanket as him, stretched out on the same mattress, curled up against his side, lips pressed to his skin as if it was nothing. It was hardly nothing. To him, it was the greatest something he had ever experienced.

"Honestly, not knowing that your own mother is alive. What's the matter with you?" she teased, thinking that perhaps Severus was simply avoiding his own family, which would be understandable.

"Did something happen when you were at the Ministry last night? Did someone modify your memory? It might be Potter's idea of a sick joke…"

Severus rolled on his side to look at her, his eyes wide with shock. "I was with Potter last night?" Instantly his guards were up. If something was amiss, and he had been with Potter, there was hardly any need for more explanation. His lack of memories had to be the other man's fault.

"Of course you were. You work closely with him whenever you get called into the Ministry. They often ask for your input in the Auror Department whenever something particularly dark comes along," Lily explained slowly, making his brain go fuzzy as her lips were hovering dangerously close to his ear. She clearly didn't notice the effect she was having on him.

Severus' thoughts were swirling. Potter knew something. Even if he didn't know precisely what was going on, he'd had a hand in this somehow. "Do you know, is Potter working now?" he asked, sure she wouldn't have an answer. He tried to keep his voice as casual as possible as not to upset her.

"As far as I'm aware from what you've told me, he almost never goes home anymore…" She stared at him with her eyebrows arched in confusion. "You aren't thinking of going in again?" she warned, her voice dripping with discontent. "Severus, you've been gone almost every night this week."

"I have to go," he pressed, sitting up and throwing the blankets off of him with a flourish. "If there's any chance that I will remember my own children once I see Potter, then I'm going to take it." Her face was unreadable, but he knew that she was upset. It almost made him happy to note that she was displeased by his absence.

"I'll be back soon, Lils," he promised, using her old nickname to lighten the mood, hesitating greatly before giving her a kiss on the forehead, worried that things would snap back to his reality as soon as he showed any sort of affection, and she'd realize that she actually despised him. She didn't, however, but just closed her eyes as his lips made contact with her skin and then sighed deeply, lying back on the pillows.

"Just hurry home, Sev."

He put on his black Hogwarts robes, even though he'd noticed from the pictures that he was much more often seen in different colored robes nowadays. He wanted to feel like the self he remembered, and nothing less. Not when he would be seeing Potter again for the first time in seventeen years worth of memories.

He Apparated straight to the Ministry, sweeping his way to the dark lifts and straight down to the Auror offices. The empty passageways gave him no sense of hope that he would find Potter at all, but it was late, and most sane Ministry employees were home with their families. Severus had never classified James Potter as sane.

It didn't take him long to see Potter's usual mess of untidy hair. He was running his hands through it, and whether it was to increase the appearance that he never brushed his hair, out of fatigue, or out of frustration, Severus might never come to know. "Potter," he snarled, causing James to lift his head.

His eyelids were drooping slightly and Severus was almost sure he had woken the man from a half-doze. "Snivellus, what an unpleasant surprise," James quipped, leaning back in his chair to stretch. "How are you and Evans on this previously-fine evening?"

"What do you know?" Severus hissed, cutting to the chase, rounding on James and putting his hands on either side of the desk so as to stare him right in the eyes. It was a stance he'd often taken on the Potter boy in his dream, or perhaps in his reality. No matter where he had done it, this position felt familiar, and he hoped that he looked as intimidating as he felt.

"Well, I tend to think that I know a lot of things," James said. "But I'm assuming you're referring to something specific?" He leaned back again, this time putting his feet up on the desk in front of him as though Severus was not standing there at all.

"What do you know about _Harry_?" Severus asked, lowering his voice. He immediately knew he'd hit a nerve as he watched the color drain from James' face.

"H-Harry?" James asked with uncertainty. The name seemed to mean something to him, but it wasn't clear if he knew exactly why as he looked just as confused as Severus felt. "I know that name," he whispered, more to himself than anything as though searching his brain for where he had heard it before.

But then again, he knew quite a few Harrys. There was Harry Mellons who worked for the Department of Magical Games and Sports who he had just spoken to the previous morning, and also Harry Boreba who sometimes worked the front desk… But James highly doubted that Snape meant either of those Harrys. This was a special Harry; a Harry only he might know about. Otherwise, why would Snape be here causing him all of this disquiet?

"Yes, your _son_. Lily's _son_. I'm assuming you know who I'm speaking of?" Severus had no idea what was real and what wasn't, but there was something about this Harry Potter from his dream that made him think that there was something factual to the whole thing. Harry Potter was not merely a figment of his imagination.

James racked his brain, but he couldn't think of a time when Lily even remotely considered having a child with him, let alone one Snape would have been comfortable mentioning. But yet, the name Harry Potter tugged at his heart in a way that was uncomfortable and familiar. He had met this boy before, he was almost sure of it. But the fact of the matter was, he still had no idea who Harry Potter could be because he certainly didn't have a son. _Did he?_

"Why would I have a son with your wife, Snape?" The words that came from Potter's mouth were logical, but his usual confidence was not behind them. His brain was attempting to make connections that he clearly didn't understand. James was attempting to make himself look less panicked and more pulled together, but his apparent fatigue was not helping him to do so.

"What is he? Is he really your son or is he a figure you made up and implanted into my head when I was at a vulnerable moment yesterday eve?" Severus pressed, trying to crack his peer with hard-pressed questions.

Tightening his jaw, James stood up, raising himself to Severus' height, which wasn't hard considering he had at least four inches on him. Even slouching he could have looked the man in the eyes. "Why don't you tell me, Snape? You are an accomplished Legimens, are you not? Or am I remembering incorrectly?"

"I'm not sure what I am anymore," Severus said honestly. "Someone seems to have tampered with my mind, and I have a feeling it was you, James Potter."

"You're insane, Snivellus. I've always said that," came a voice from behind them as Sirius Black strode into the office with a cup of coffee in one hand and a stack of newspapers under his other arm. "You're not an Auror, and we haven't requested your _expert _advice tonight, so please, do everyone a favor and get back to your wife. Goodness knows it's only a matter of time before she realizes that you've made her whole family greasy and she leaves you. I'd savor the time while I had it." Sirius threw the papers onto his desk and slid into his own chair with the same graceful arrogance he'd displayed at school.

James looked as though he'd never been more grateful to see Sirius as he sank down slightly in his seat with a sigh of relief.

Severus glared at them both, pondering his chances of hexing them where they sat and living to tell the tale. "I _will _find out about Harry," he promised James, unsure if Black would have the slightest clue what they were talking about, but it didn't matter. "If he really exists, I will find out about it. If he doesn't exist, you will fix whatever tampering you've done with my mind. Do I make myself clear?" he asked slowly.

James sat staring at him, not moving and not blinking. He did not make any movement that would indicate that he heard Snape at all.

"Just because you're a Professor now, doesn't mean you get to talk to us like that, Snivlly." Sirius was now on his feet, his hand probably clutching his wand in case he needed to do any self-defense.

Snape ignored him and continued to press Potter. "You may or may not know this, but in my mind last night, your arrogance had you _killed_, and Lily along with you. If I were you, I'd tone it down a bit before it catches up to you in this life as well, Potter." With that he strode from the office, hoping very much that he'd left a lasting impression.

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><p>Pacing back and forth across the floor, Severus avoided sleep lest he wake up to find his whole wonderfully beautiful life with Lily had come crashing down around him as he slept.<p>

"Sev, please come to bed," Lily begged with a yawn, sitting up a little to watch him traipse again across the room with a bored expression. "Whatever Potter said, I'm sure he was lying."

Severus stopped in his tracks to look at her, his eyes troubled. "That's the problem, Lily; Potter said nothing. He knows something about what happened to me and he's withholding—"

"For goodness sake, Sev," Lily snapped, sounding irritated now. "You are_ fine_. James Potter or one of his team of nit-witted dunderheads modified your memory as a joke is all. Talk to Dumbledore tomorrow. He'll know how to put it right."

This seemed like a plausible solution. "Yes, Dumbledore…" How could he have forgotten that Lily had mentioned Dumbledore was here, too? If anyone would be able to put him right or sort him out, it was Albus Dumbledore.

He managed to force himself to stop his pacing, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking Lily's hands in his. "I know this may count for nothing," he said quietly, still of the firm belief that one slip from him would result in her imminent disappearance, "But I love you very much, Lily."

It was the first time he had ever been able to say the words aloud and in her presence. If this moment was too good to be true, he was at least going to make the best of it. He had no doubt that he had loved Lily for many years whether it was in his head or in his reality.

"I love you, too, Sev," she said contentedly through another yawn as she settled back in on her pillows and dozed off.

The way she said it was habit. It was something she said quite often and without hesitation. She didn't have to pause to think '_Do I really love this man? His hair is oily and his skin is pale. Doesn't that repulse me? Wouldn't I rather have a talk, dark, handsome man like James Potter beside me_?'

She just knew.

"I love you, too, Sev…" he whispered with a small smile, unable to believe his luck as he lay back on his own pillows beside her and fought the end to his happy nightmare.

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><p><strong>AN:** **I hope that this chapter caused your brain boogers to start clumping and your mind wheels to start turning. I hope that you have some speculation as to whether this world is real, fake, or somewhere in between, and I would love to hear what you have in mind! **

**I always have fun writing as Sirius and James, so this chapter was a joy for me to pull together. The next chapter is extremely longer than these first few have been, and I hope it clears a lot up. **

**If you have the time, I truly would love to hear from you about where your thoughts are! Thank you so much for reading so far! 3**


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